Search for love through online dating has a romantic ending despite scammers DBy Daniel MilesTopic:Scams and Fraud25m ago25 minutes agoSun 4 May 2025 at 11:47pmTra My Tran and Hywel Rowlands enjoy swimming, coffee and learning language when together in Vietnam. (Supplied: Hywel Rowlands)abc.net.au/news/searching-for-love-through-online-dating-and-avoiding-scammers/104810108Link copiedShareShare articleIt's just after 9am in Ho Chi Minh City, and Hywel Rowlands and Tra My Tran are finishing their coffees in the soft morning light of their apartment.There's an easy comfort between them as they settle into the living room.Mr Rowlands, 50, is a town planner from regional Victoria and Ms Tran, 41, is a pharmacist from Vietnam.They met two years ago on an online dating site and have found it hard to separate ever since.But their journey to find love hasn't been straightforward.Both were targeted by online scammers posing as potential partners, seeking money through emotional manipulation.Mr Rowlands travels back and forth between Vietnam and other countries due to visa difficulties. (Supplied: Hywel Rowlands)Danger around the online cornerRomance scams cost Australians more than $156 million last year, according to the National Anti-Scam Centre.It's a risk the pair know better than most."I was surprised at the prevalence of scammers on dating sites," Mr Rowlands said.Don't fall for scams this Valentine's dayPhoto shows A graphic of a mobile phone showing an image of a dating app on the screen.As Valentine's Day arrives, many are looking for love online, but authorities warn that romance scammers are also on the prowl.Mr Rowlands said it felt like "every second person" on the sites he visited was a scammer, tugging at his heartstrings — and wallet.Some women he spoke to said they needed help fixing a broken phone to keep chatting and the best way he could help was with Amazon gift cards.Others wanted to meet, but said they needed assistance affording the appropriate visa."They all had one thing in common and that [was] at some point there was a compelling reason to transfer money in a bid to progress the relationship and be together," he said."It was exhausting, to say the least."Fifty per cent strike rateMs Tran's experience online was equally fraught."I met four people online, and two asked for money," she said.One profile — a man allegedly from Europe — shared a harrowing story of familial heartbreak, betrayal and loss that drew her in for months."It was very upsetting and I feel for him a lot, I was crying."Like many women navigating dating apps, Ms Tran said she used a fake name for protection."If you are a woman you need to be careful," she said.Mr Rowlands aims to spend as much time as possible in Vietnam with Ms Tran. (Supplied: Hywel Rowlands)Ms Tran said scammers sometimes retaliated when confronted."After I stopped talking to one … he sent naked photos which wasn't nice, not polite, especially in Vietnam," she said.A safe placeOnline dating, for Asian women especially, can be fraught with "racist and demeaning" messages.Women of colour shared harrowing stories of cultural shame and racism on online dating platforms in the wake of the industry's latest code of conduct last year."I felt unsafe because I didn't know who I was talking to and was worried … they [might] use my information to steal my identity," Ms Tran said.It was something Mr Rowlands said he was aware of in his interactions online.AI technology on rise in romance scamsPhoto shows Maggie Ayres typing on a computer while seated.Romance scams are on the rise in WA, with authorities warning people to be vigilant of scammers using artificial intelligence to disguise themselves in video calls.He said profiles purporting to be from women in Indonesia or Hong Kong would ask him to chat on social media before requesting intimate images he suspected would be used in extortion attempts."There are plenty of these profiles, and they are easy to spot, so I avoided most but not all," he said.Australians are getting more scam savvy, according to the latest federal government data, which showed a 26 per cent reduction in reported scams last year."We continue to be concerned about the high individual losses and emotional impact of scams," ACCC deputy chair Catriona Lowe said.Australia's Scamwatch service received 249,448 reports last year.Finding the oneThe scams took an emotional toll on Mr Rowlands and Ms Tran.But eventually, they found each other — and something genuine.Ms Tran was drawn to Mr Rowlands' video messages and his quirky choice of profile photo."I remember his profile photo [was] of him with a chicken, I thought this was very strange," she said."People don't take photo with chickens, even more strange he used [it] for a profile picture."The love scammer who ruined Donna's lifePhoto shows Donna Nelson graphicGrandmother Donna Nelson sits alone in a Japanese jail for 23 hours a day, far from the life she planned with her online boyfriend of two years. The court accepted the 59-year-old was love scammed, but sentenced her anyway.He was struck by her kindness and the simplicity of their conversations.They have now been together for more than two years. He's learning Vietnamese and she's improving her English.Their reliance on Google Translate is becoming less and less as the days go by.Ongoing visa issues mean Mr Rowlands has had to travel back and forth between Australia and Vietnam, staying as long as a tourist visa allows.Still, they're determined to build a future together."I'm very happy. We both are," he said. 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